Sunday, October 9, 2016

A Bookish Life

Sure. It's been a while.  But there's a good reason, I promise.

I felt like this blog was dictating what I was writing, reading, reviewing.  So much so, that it didn't even feel authentic anymore.  It felt like I had a to-be-read pile from authors, publishers, etc. so high, that I didn't even want to conquer it.  Even the titles that I wanted to read, I didn't read.  Mostly I felt that way because I felt like I had to, and all because they just showed up in my mailbox.  I hadn't solicited a book for years. I quit reading a genre I love because of the pressure and the weight associated with being a book blogger. I ended up in the place I started out in fifth grade.  I didn't even love to read anymore because it felt forced.

A couple of weeks ago, a local restaurant that I had recently discovered, and come to love, closed its doors.  They closed their doors because owning the restaurant was interfering with what their vision and purpose in their core product.  That's when I realized that was exactly how I'd come to feel about being open to receiving books for review.  Those ARCs have derailed my original purpose with this blog. They morphed into something that wasn't organic.  I felt like a puppet.  So, I quit reading other book blogs. I quit writing posts.  I strive to live a life full of integrity, so I stopped doing something I love because it had come to compromise that integrity.

But over the last five or six months, I've really missed blogging.  I've missed having a platform for my voice that wasn't based on social media with my small circle of friends.  I've missed expounding on what I thought with an audience of people who are pretty darn rad.

So, when I got a used book in the mail that I really want to read, I realized that was the direction I need to go.  For the first time in over a year, I'm holding a physical book in my hands that I can't wait to crack the cover on.  I've got my pencil out to write in the margins.  I've got a thirst for the words that lie inside.  And I'm thinking about all of the other books I have on my shelves that are being neglected because I had this giant to-be-read pile of guilt sitting in my office.

To hell with that pile!  I'm starting fresh.  I'm keeping the old archives, of course.  But, I'm moving forward with the original intent of this blog.  Titles that caught my eye, and titles that I've read.  Glimpses into my personal life, that can be, at times, quite bookish, and at times, I'll admit,  just plain weird.  As I say on Instagram, "Literature is not an exact science.  And neither in my life. Adventures in both from Mesa, Arizona."  Expect the same girl you see there on IG, open and honest, an Arizona localist who loves words and the outdoors, and is excited to start sharing her favorites again.