Monday, July 5, 2010

The Bullwer-Lytton Fiction Contest [You're The Expert]

I stumbled on this hilarious contest and just had to share it with you all.  The Bullwer-Lytton's Fiction Contest, "Where WWW means Wretched Writers Welcome."
The winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Molly Ringle of Seattle, Washington. The author of one published and two soon-to-be-published novels, Molly Ringle only writes bad fiction when she fails at good fiction. She'd rather not say how often this happens. She lives in Seattle with her family, and her vices include uncalled-for moments of sarcasm, excessive consumption of Nutella, and an unladylike avidity for the raunchy films of Mel Brooks

Molly Ringle is the 28th grand prize winner of the contest that that began at San Jose State University in 1982.  She is also the second consecutive Washingtonian in a row to win the contest, last year’s being David McKenzie.
Curious as to how bad her sentence really could be?  Well, read for yourself:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil. 
What do you think about contests like this? Have you ever entered a contest like this? Did you find this as hilarious as I did? Or did you find it offensive? Tell us what you think, 'cause you're the expert on what you think, and we wanna know all about it.  View Complete 2009 Results.


GMR said...

I actually had a friend tell me about this annual competition last year along with loaning me the book of winners/entries. It was quite for the quote above, definitely silly (not offended) though it does make me worry about the rest of the book! Happy reading!

EVA SB said...

In small doses bad writing is extremely funny.
The mental image of the 'world's thirstiest gerbil' is so vivid - though I'm not sure that is such a good thing :0)

Monster said...

It is definitely a bad sentence, but I couldn't help but laugh. I don't think I could read a whole book written like that though.